they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
