Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
