Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
