So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
