Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
