Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
