Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
oh god the rape fog is back!
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
