are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
