The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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