I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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