The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
