Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
