How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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