please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
