So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
