I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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