I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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