I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
