just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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