What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
