I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
