Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
