Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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