He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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