Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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