I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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