Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN