Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.

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(631): Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans. http://tfl.nu/f9ad

Replies (74) Good night (4113) Bad night (1882)
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(925): View more from California

just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.

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(925): just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck. http://tfl.nu/ybk3

Replies (61) Good night (3957) Bad night (1192)
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(951): View more from California

I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.

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(951): I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on. http://tfl.nu/klvy

Replies (32) Good night (705) Bad night (4734)
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(909): View more from California

i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.

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(909): i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner. http://tfl.nu/h169

Replies (17) Good night (2827) Bad night (4492)
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(406): View more from Montana

That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.

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(406): That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays. http://tfl.nu/wjf7

Replies (25) Good night (4859) Bad night (909)
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(210): View more from Texas

I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.

(1-210): View more from Texas

I love milkshakes.

(210): View more from Texas

Not the point.

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(210): I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat. (1-210): I love milkshakes. (210): Not the point. http://tfl.nu/tb5t

Replies (19) Good night (5287) Bad night (1436)
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(281): View more from Texas

FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!

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(281): FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed! http://tfl.nu/axg9

Replies (16) Good night (1148) Bad night (4968)
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(714): View more from California

For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.

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(714): For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out. http://tfl.nu/58i4

Replies (3) Good night (2601) Bad night (896)
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(940): View more from Texas

My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!

(940): View more from Texas

HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.

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(940): My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!! (940): HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT. http://tfl.nu/347l

Replies (8) Good night (2036) Bad night (805)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.

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(651): Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult. http://tfl.nu/x3id

Replies (1) Good night (1604) Bad night (667)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.

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(570): If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes. http://tfl.nu/for0

Replies (8) Good night (1858) Bad night (514)
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(631): View more from New York

His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE

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(631): His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE http://tfl.nu/8spd

Replies (17) Good night (932) Bad night (1910)
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(217): View more from Illinois

I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...

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(217): I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop... http://tfl.nu/qb0c

Replies (3) Good night (924) Bad night (540)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.

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(570): At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement? (1-570): I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet. http://tfl.nu/p7w6

Replies (2) Good night (936) Bad night (341)
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(208): View more from Idaho

Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.

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(208): Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache. http://tfl.nu/ndot

Replies (1) Good night (316) Bad night (431)

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