if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
