Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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