So drunk its hurt
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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