nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
