No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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