I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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