I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
