You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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