Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
