so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
