I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
