no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
