At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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