Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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