walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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