You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
