Pants 0. Shit 1.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize