Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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