two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize