yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
