so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
