I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
