i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
