Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize