would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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