come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
