I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize