He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
