you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize